Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
