Kiss
Puke
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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