You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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