would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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