If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
