We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
