The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
