I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
