Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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