spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
