well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
