I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
