so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
