At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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