Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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