I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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