im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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