i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
