It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
