Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
