I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
