Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize