I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
