Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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