my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
