I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish i was in the wii world.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize