nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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