You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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