wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
