it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
