You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
