It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
