What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
