if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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