things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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