THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
