Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
