Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
