he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
