So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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