I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
