i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
