that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
