He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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