She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
