were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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