Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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