Umm I'm too high to move.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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