Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
