Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
