I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
being pregnant is like rehab
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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