Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize