How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
