if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
