My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
