You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
