I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize