no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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