real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
