I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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