can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
