We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize