I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want nice things and good sex
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
