in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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