I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
