what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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