Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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