Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
