I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
