Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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