yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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