Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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